Did you start your Covid-19 journal yet? Have you been writing about what you have been doing? Have you been writing about the good and the bad? Have you been fully honest? Remember, no one else will read it.
Did you make a list of your why Gods? If not, start there.
We are going to explore a new question today. Have you allowed your ‘why’ to create a barrier between you and God?
As I shared, I was consumed by my ‘why’ after my transplant. I felt like if I knew there was a reason for it, I would feel okay about what happened. But over time, no answer would satisfy my deep longing to understand ‘why‘. I got mad and frustrated with God and a wedge was created between us. My ‘why‘ created a blind spot and I could no longer see who God is.
We have spent some time thinking about our whys. I’ve encouraged you to bring your questions to God, as you would a friend. Yesterday I challenged you to think about how God might respond to your question ‘why‘.
Now it’s time to grab out that journal and ask yourself this question, “Have I allowed my ‘why’ to create a barrier between me and God?“
How would you know? Here are a few questions to ask yourself that might help you see.
Is your relationship with God different now than it was before whatever caused you to ask ‘why’ in the first place?
Do you find yourself constantly trying to make sense of what happened?
Do you find yourself trusting God less and relying on your reasoning more?
Do you have a hard time believing that God could be good when he lets bad things happen?
I would love to hear your answers! Comment below if you are comfortable or email me at Lisdschmidt@gmail.com.
Did you start your Covid-19 journal yet? Did you write your first entry? Have you been writing about what you have been doing? Have you been writing about the good and the bad? Have you been fully honest? Remember, no one else will read it.
Did you make a list of your why Gods? If not, start there.
Today we are going to try something. It might silly at first, but I want you to try it. Grab two chairs, your coffee and journal. We are going to have a conversation with God.
I want you to pretend that God is sitting in the chair across from you. Settle in. I want you to ask, out loud, your why questions to God. Then I want you to pause and take a moment to listen. How do you think he would answer? Write down your thoughts. Some of you may not be able to come up with an answer, some of you may be able to fill up a whole page. Take some time, don’t rush this exercise.
First, things first. Have you started a Covid-19 journal yet? If not, start there. Go and order a fancy journal on Amazon if that would motivate you. I usually just grab an old notebook. Staple some loose paper together if that’s all you have.
Because we are in the midst a defining moment in history.
Our children’s children will read about Covid-19 in their history books. They will discuss what we did right and what we did wrong. They will learn stories of sacrifice. They will learn about how schools were shut down and for the first time in history people could not gather to celebrate Easter. They will see pictures of makeshift hospitals and people cheering from their balconies as the hospital workers left their shifts each night.
In years to come we will sit around and talk about when it first hit us, when we realized that our lives were about to change. We will remember exactly where we were when the President banned European travel. We will talk about the first time in our life that we were ordered to stay home.
But what we could easily forget are the little moments. We quickly forget the little things, the moments that matter the most. We forget our moments of sorrow. We forget our moments of joy and laughter. We forget our moments of fear. We forget the moments that we cried out to God asking ‘why‘?
So that is the challenge for today, find a journal and commit to writing in it during Covid 19. Lets commit to not forgetting the little things. Write your first entry today. Talk about what you did. Talk about how you felt. Write about the good and about the bad. No one will see it, so be completely honest. Years from now, when we look back and we are able to remember how far we have come from today, we will be glad we did.
“Why won’t God just take this Coronavirus away?” my daughter cried out.
She has asked that same question amongst sobs the last few nights as we tucked her into bed. And each time, no matter how I say it, my answer is never adequate.
Because “I don’t know” is the only answer I have to give her. I can’t speak for everyone, but “I don’t know” tends to be a very unsatisfying answer for people.
She is not alone in asking why during this crisis. Nor is this the first crisis that has brought people to their knees begging God for an answer. I personally have been asking God “why?” for a long, long time. And as we ask God “why”, we join a chorus of people that have been asking the same question from the beginning of time.
David is a prime example. He was the one that slayed Goliath with a slingshot and rock. He wrote 73 of the Psalms found in the bible and is the main character of many of the Sunday school stories we have heard over the years. He is known as the man after God’s own heart. Yet we hear him cry out to God in Psalm 13:1 saying “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” This is just one of the many times we hear David crying out to God, feeling forgotten by him.
This is just one example. As you read through the bible you do not have to look far before you come across someone crying out to God in anguish- asking why.
And that question continues to echo in the minds and hearts of many of us today.
After my liver transplant I was consumed by the why behind it all. I felt like if I could make sense of it, if there was a purpose behind it, I would be okay with it. God would use me in someone’s life and I would quickly think “Oh that’s why! God saved me so I could encourage someone else who had a chronic illness.” When I did that, I found myself quickly disappointed when I compared the pain I had experienced to the perceived benefit of the recipient. That why didn’t measure up to the one I was looking for.
I pleaded with God, I begged him, to tell me why.
People certainly had their ideas of why, but nothing would satisfy that nagging question that brought anguish to my soul.
What about you? What is your why?
Your why questions will look different from mine.
Your’s may sound more like this…
Why did you take my mom away from me?
Why did he have to die so young?
Why did I have to get that diagnosis?
Why can’t I get pregnant, when the deepest longing of my heart is to be a mom?
Why does that person seem to have it so easy, when everything feels so hard for me?
Why do bad things happen to good people?
And today, the question on a lot of our minds is, why can’t you just take the Coronavirus away?
Most people I know have a why, some have more than one. For some of us, what starts as a simple question, evolves into a consuming force.
Our why becomes our blind spot.
I have been there. After my transplant I was blinded by my why for many years.
I got so consumed with trying to understand why, I was no longer really asking a question. I was just angry. I was frustrated. I was fed up. I didn’t actually want to listen, I just wanted something to change. I want my pleas to be heard and my demands to be met. Now.
My anger and frustration blinded me. Because of that, even if God did answer me, I wouldn’t have seen or heard it. Each year, the wedge between God and I got greater and greater. Over time that simple question created a barrier between me and the one who held the answer I so desperately sought after.
Have you been there?
I know a lot of people who are not following Jesus. I have actually NEVER met someone who isn’t following Jesus because of who Jesus is. Most people I know aren’t following Jesus because of an unanswered why. It’s usually because something horrible happened to them. They cried out “why God? with no answer that would satisfy. And even if God had tried to answer, they couldn’t hear it, because their anger and frustration blocked their sight. Their why created a blind spot, blocking their view of who God really is.
Do you relate?
I usually like to wrap up my blogs with a nice neat bow. I like to end my blog with a challenge or an encouragement. But this one is going to be different, we are going to end here. Because before moving forward, I want us to wrestle a bit this week with these two questions.
What is your why (s)?
Have you allowed your why(s) to become a blind spot?
Throughout this coming week, I’ll post thoughts each day to get us thinking about our why’s. Make sure to subscribe to my blog at www.Lisadschmidt.com so you don’t miss anything!